Kim's Greatest Mistake
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: Never....EVER get Bonnie Rockwaller really, really angry.
1. Chapter 1

Bonnie and the Doctor

All characters are owned by Disney Corp.

* * *

It was here. Bonnie's long quest was over. The room was full of dealers, of geeks, of the scum and villainy of the science fiction world.

But this was worth it. Even the danger to her reputation was worth it.

And there it was, her prize. All she had to do, all SHE, had to do was reach out and win it, and that was certain. Nothing could-

"Ah-HA! SHEGO! MY PRIZE!" A blue man, screamed.

_That's one of Kim's freaks._ Bonnie marched up to him, tossing the scarf over her shoulder, and poked him in the chest.

"That's MY prize." She said, "And you're not taking it until you win the contest."

"Win the contest, that's what I have Shego for—She-"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, DRAKKEN!"

_Oh god, no._ It couldn't be _her._ That's why she was here, so nobody would-

"Bonnie?" Another voice asked, and Ron Stoppable looked curiously at her. "Hey, that's a great costume! I didn't know you were into Cosplay…who is it?" He paused, "Let me guess, it's…Sherlock Holmes!"

Bonnie gasped in anger. "No it is not! THIS IS A COMPLETELY ACCURATE-" She calmed down slightly, "recreation of the 4th doctor's outfit." She said, adjusting the floppy hat.

Now Kim had seen her and had actually stopped preparing to fight Shego. She looked, she grinned, and then she giggled.

At her. At Bonnie Rockwaller.

"Cosplay! You're into COSPLAY!" Kim shrieked as she started to laugh, "Oh wait until the people at school hear this—I bet my cousin Larry will ask you to be his 4th level priestess of Mordor."

Bonnie blinked, and glared. "This is NOT some sort of silly Anime Cosplay!" She said, "It's a salute to the greatest and longest running science fiction TV series in Britain!"

"What she said!" Drakken shouted. "Don't try and compare your Captain Constellation to true literature and art!" He paused, "Which is why I'm getting this prize! Shego attack!"

"HOLD IT!" Bonnie said, "That's going to be MINE!"

"Don't worry Bonnie." Kim said, "I'm certain we'll help you back at school after _everyone_ learns about this…"

Bonnie stopped. That would mean they'd learn about the fan club she ran, the petition campaign she'd set up outside of Middleton, even that little incident in London last summer.

Dad had really had to call in a lot of favors to see that kept out of the paper. So she'd snuck into #10 Downing Street. The Prime Minister was supposedly a fan too!

And now Kim Possible, the bane of Bonnie's existence was going to keep her from getting, was going to out-

"And in any case," Shego said, "If the fight goes like it usually does, this hunk of junk will be destroyed."

Bonnie Screamed. So did Drakken, but his voice was much more girlish. Then she glared at Kim and Shego.

Ron stepped back. Something about Bonnie's glare frightened him.

Perhaps the fact that her eyes were now glowing with a reddish, hellish color.

"Last Chance." Bonnie said, "Step away from the contest."

"As If." Kim said.

"What Princess said." Shego said, "What are you going to do, use your scarf?"

"Fine, then it will be on your head." Bonnie said, and vaulting over to the contest table, she grabbed the mike. Turning up to max, she shouted, her voice a titan's over the exhibit hall.

"ATTENTION! YOU HEARD THE RUMORS!" She said, as Kim and Shego held their ears, "AND I'M PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THEY'RE TRUE! "XENA: THE WARRIOR PRINCESS HAS BEEN REOPTIONED!" A cheer broke out, and Bonnie smiled down at the confused Kim and Shego, "WITH FORMER HERO SHEGO PLAYING THE ROLE OF XENA, AND KIM POSSIBLE AS HER PLUCKY SIDEKICK GABRIALLE!"

"Hey!" Kim said.

"AND…." Bonnie continued, "THIS WILL BE ON CABLE SO THE SUBTEXT BETWEEN THEM NO LONGER NEEDS TO BE SUBTEXT!" Now everyone was looking seriously confused.

"What's this supposed to do?" Shego Muttered.

"AND…." Bonnie said, her eyes gleaming with the fires of inspiration, "THEY _WILL_ BE SIGNING BODY PARTS…._ANY_ BODY PART… FOR THE FIRST FIFTY FANS—THEY'RE IN FRONT OF THE DOCTOR WHO CONTEST BOOTH, SO HURRY!"

There was silence. Then, dust motes started falling from the ceiling, as what sounded like a herd of elephants began to move.

Kim and Shego looked down at the end of the aisle, at the horde of people, many of them having undone their shirts, at the endless waves of undulating flesh heading towards them, of the permanent markers clutched in hands….

They looked….

And both screamed hysterically making Drakken sound like a Spartan warrior and suddenly there were twin trails of dust marking their exit. The stampeding horde saw it: "THERE THEY GO! PLEASE, SIGN OUR-(censored due to the possible presence of children)!"

There was another sound, and Ron cocked his head. "I never thought that cartoon run away sound would be heard in real life," he said to Rufus.

Bonnie ignored him. She hopped down to confront Drakken.

"So, you don't have your green chick any more." She said, "Are you ready to fight me in the right way? The way that a true fan would?"

"Yes!" he said, "And you shall fall! This is what I should have done from the beginning."

"Fall? In your dreams." Bonnie said, and then turned to the stunned booth attendants. "We're READY! START THE DR. WHO TRIVIA CONTEST!"

TBC.


	2. Chapter 2

The new Mascot

* * *

Kim leaped up to the open ventilator shaft, with Shego in hot pursuit, as the mass underneath them formed an, er, human pile (they weren't dextrous enough for a human pyramid), to reach them.

"PLEASE SIGN MY SPLEEN!" One screamed, and Shego prepared to flambé him.

"Shego NO!" Kim screeched, "All the high fat foods, all the oil…all the fat, you'll immolate us!" She reached down and grabbed the mercenary hauling her into the ventilation shaft. "Good." She said, "We're safe." Then they heard a terrible sound, of dozens of bodies entering the shaft from another direction. Kim looked around and realized that her old advantage—oddly wide and accessible ventilation systems, was now her bane.

"This way!" Shego screamed.

Down below in the video room, several people looked up and smiled.

"Isn't it nice that they have these touches." One girl said to her friend, "It's almost like that-" She pointed to the ventilation shaft chase in Aliens 2 that was currently showing, "Is happening up there!" She said pointing to the overhead ducting.

"I know." Her companion said, "Complete with the screaming!"

* * *

"Oh that was EASY." Bonnie said, "Give me a hard one!"

"Okay, what enemies not only showed up in the new Doctor Who, but the old Doctor Who, even though nobody will ever see their first complete appearance?"

"Please," Drakken said, "That's the Macra. They first appeared in the "Macra Terror" in 1967, but only stills and fragments remain. Their next appearance was in "Gridlock" of the new Doctor Who series." He brushed off some non-existence dust, "Really, is that the best you have?"

"Okay, then, what was the first appearance of the sonic screwdriver and…"

* * *

"They're all around us Shego…" Kim said, clinging to her former Nemesis in an ancient huddling reflex in the face of unstoppable fear.

"I know, Pumpkin, I know." Shego whimpered as the sound of terrible soft bodies sliding through the ducts grew louder.

* * *

"And That's why they didn't use the Sontarans in the first part of the new series of Dr. Who!" Bonnie said, folding her arms. "So, when do I get my prize?"

* * *

"This is it!" Shego cried, when suddenly above them the roof was cut out and (along with his Mole Rat) Ron stoppable leaned in.

"Come with me if you want to ah…avoid being mauled by rabid fan boys."

"Oh thank God!" Kim said.

"Oh Thank you!" Shego cried out hysterically, as the two woman took his hand and allowed themselves to be pulled onto the roof, barely missing the first pale, stubby, clammy hand that lashed out at them.

* * *

"So, next question already!" Bonnie said.

The Contest board looked nervous.

"WHAT!?"

"We're ah, out of questions. You both know more about Dr. Who than the people who wrote it did."

"Obsessive compulsive fans." One muttered to another judge.

"Yap."

"But…who won?" Drakken asked.

"It's a tie. Oh well, you can try next year." They said, as they wheeled the prize back to the box.

"But…but…but…." Bonnie's eyes grew huge and liquidy. "NO!"

"NOOOOO!!!!" Drakken screamed, again somewhat more shrilly.

"Well, we can't saw it in half."

Bonnie paused, then grabbed Drakken. "Huddle. Now."

"What?"

"We get joint custody—I have it half the month, you have it the other half."

"Weekend visitation rights?" Bonnie sighed, "Yes, Weekend visitation rights—after this, my secret is out anyway." She paused, "You're a mad scientist, as well….maybe you can help me with a little project…" She looked over at the object of her desire, "And make my-"

"Our." Drakken said.

"_Our_ prize even better!"

Drakken nodded. "We have a Deal."

Drakken stuck out his hand. Bonnie winced and gingerly took and shook it.

* * *

Epilogue:

"I'm not certain about this." James Possible said to his wife. Anne looked at her husband.

"This is just working out the trauma they both endured. It's very common." She said, "Besides, I think he deserves it." She turned back humming, ignoring the scene on the couch where Shego in a black and green dress and Kim in a black dress were busily peeling grapes for Ron. They just finished feeding him the Nacho's Shego had stolen.

"Besides." Anne continued, looking over her shoulder at James. "Kim and Shego at least aren't taking him to bed like a stuffed teddy bear any more."

"And maybe they'll stop referring to him as "my hero"" James muttered.

"Shego has stopped, but I don't think you'll like her new name any better."

"Which is?"

"Lord Ron?"

_moan._

"Oh! Lord Ron!" Shego said, "Look, the game!"

"I wonder who Bonnie got to replace the Mad Dog," Ron asked.

* * *

At the field, the cheer leaders were waiting. Bonnie had been quiet about her new Mad Dog Mascot, except to say someone named "Drew" had been working on it. Nobody asked her, especially given the horrible thing she'd done to the senior who had mocked her (now known) fannish traits. Force feeding him mystery meat…

The cheer leaders shuddered.

Then it was time for the teams to take the field. The opposing Team charged out. The Middleton Team, charged out—or rather acted like they were running from something in the locker room.

"So," Hope said, "where's this mascot?"

"He's coming." Bonnie said, sipping from her drink, as the opposing team got out and started their opening routines. Their Mascot, Sharkie, taking some joy from the fact that the Middleton Cheerleaders were doing nothing started bending over and waggling his ass in their direction.

"BONNIE!" Tara said, "aren't we going-" Bonnie had said they didn't need to even cheer this time, but this was to-

And then a lambent bolt of energy shot from the locker room, enveloping the mascot and reducing his clothes to nothing, leaving him clad in only his boxers. Other bolts fired out and sent the enemy cheerleaders shrieking across the field.

"What-" Marcella said, before a metallic screech sounded across the field.

YOU ARE INFERIOR MORALE BOOSTERS! YOU WILL BE DEFEATED BY SUPERIOR DALEK INSPIRATION!

Following that, an odd, almost salt shaker looking object came out, waving an energy weapon menacingly at the crowd. The Middleton team huddled away from it, as it turned, and pointed it's plunger and gun at them. The cheerleaders stood looking in shock, realizing that it had been painted in Middleton Mad Dog colors. Speaking, twin lights on its 'head' flashing, it addressed the Middleton Team.

YOU HAVE BEEN PROVIDED WITH SUPERIOR _DALEK_ TACTICS. YOU WILL WIN THIS MATCH OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED! OBEY, _OBEY, __**OBEY!**_

The Cheerleaders looked…shocked. The other side looked scared. The Middleton Team looked terrified.

Bonnie looked content. "Making that deal to share custody in return for his upgrading it was the best decision I ever made." She said, sighing, "It's so much better with an AI and ray guns then the radio controlled model was…Connie and Lonnie still haven't come out of hiding."

Still, there was one down side.

"Ah…Ms. Rockwaller?" A referee said midway through the game, holding his charred hat. "Could you ah…please ask your, er, masco-"

DALEK!

"Yes, Dalek!" He said, "Don't zap me!" Recovering, he continued, "Your, ah, Dalek, to stop shooting your own team whenever they flub a play? They're getting a little frazzled…"

The End.


End file.
